Saying Yes

This week is the parish mission at Ste. Marie's. Since the music group was playing music on the first night, I was there and was able to hear the main talk from Sr. Ann Shields, and I've been thinking a lot about what she had to say.

Her talk on Sunday night was based on the first chapter of second Corinthians, when Paul says:
Do I make my plans in a worldly manner so that in the same breath I say, "Yes, yes" and "No, no"? But as surely as God is faithful, our message to you is not "Yes" and "No." For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not "Yes" and "No," but in him it has always been "Yes." For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. Sr. Ann was talking about how we need to learn to say "yes" to God in all things. Sometimes that means saying yes to something which is difficult, and sometimes that means simply saying yes to being holy when we are tempted to sin.

Many years ago, I had a conversation with a very good friend who told me that in a time in her life when she was struggling with something, a priest she knew advised her to spend an entire week saying "Yes, Lord." Yes to anything and everything that a person would normally want to say no about. Getting up when the alarm goes off, getting stuck in traffic, the person who was difficult to deal with, work, etc. He told her that she shouldn't have a discussion with God about it (I'm not happyabout this for these 8 reasons, but I'll do what you say), nor a negotiation (Okay, I'll say yes to you on this, but you know you owe me on that, right?). It should simply be, "Yes, Lord."

That has stuck with me over the years, and there have been times when I have come back to that advice in my own life. A few years ago when I was very lonely and absolutely terrified that I would spend my life alone, I was taking a walk at work during lunch, and talking to God about it. It suddenly occured to me that being single was something I needed to say "Yes, Lord," about. "Yes, Lord, if you want me to be single, then I will trust you and I know it will be okay. If that is your plan for me, then yes." Of course, my conversation wasn't entirely that. It was over the course of several prayers, and most of them consisted of me saying "I don't want to!" But finally after many months, I came to the conclusion that I really did need to say "Yes, Lord."

The thing is, it wasn't like a magic spell. I wasn't suddenly not lonely, and I didn't lose the desire to be married. But it was... something. I didn't even realize it had changed in me until a long time later, when another friend made a comment about me being alone and she was trying to be sensitive to me about it, and I surprised her and myself by saying "I am fine with it. I have been fine with it for a while." And I really was. It seems odd to say that I was okay with being lonely, but that was how it was.

Sr. Ann, in her talk, said that God gives us all kinds of opportunities in our lives to say yes to him, and those opportunities are times for us to practice saying yes to the bigger things he might be calling us to. She spoke of a priest who was in jail, who had been tortured and beaten and was near death. One night a man was thrown in the cell who had been a guard in the prison, the same man who had done the torturing and beating. The man was crying, saying that no one, not even God, could forgive him for everything he'd done. The priest called for someone to bring him over to the man, and he said to him "God forgives you, because I forgive you, and I will hear your confession." Both men died that night. "You don't say yes to something like that if you haven't been in training for it for a very long time," Sr. Ann said.

So, this Lent, I am looking for ways to say yes. I don't know to what, or who, God will call me to say yes to, but I will be looking for it. Because I guess I've been out of training for a while. And I don't want to find myself unable to say yes to whatever God has planned.