Double Digits

That's right. We're down to double digits. It seems like just last week, it was 200+ days away, and suddenly we have a little more than 3 months until the big day.

We met with the Mullens for Foccus again. This week the topic was communication and this seems to be an area which Matt and I do very well in. We had to go through an active listening exercise which seemed very forced and structured. I do recognize the value in restating what you've heard in order to clarify and check for understanding, but it seemed like the "rules" were too constricting. I can't imagine us having an actual fight and stopping to restate what the other person said and asking if I have it right. I think that between email, texting and actual face time, Matt and I do a good job communicating with each other, and we do have a good decision making process.

It's been a stressful week, though, and it seems like when he gets home at the end of the day, all I want to do is curl up in his arms and just rest in that safety. There's no way to warm up to this, so I'll just come out and say it: my father's an alcoholic, and this weekend it came out that he's been drinking again, and has been for some time. He's just gotten slightly better at hiding it. So this week there's been many difficult conversations with my mom, with him, questions about what kind of treatment he will have, processing what has happened... At the end of the day, to be able to be wrapped up, held and know that I am safe with Matt has been such a blessing. It's hard for me to talk about this right now, because there really is so little I can do to resolve this mess. I just want to throw my hands in the air and say "Screw it. You all let me know when you've fixed things." Not exactly fair, mature, or right, I know. Still it's what I want to do.

But things keep going, plans still need to be made. The invitations are being put together this weekend and will go into the mail the week after that. We have opened a joint checking account together and all of my automatic payments and direct deposits need to be moved over. Final decisions about hundreds of different details need to be made. All these things will distract me from worrying about my dad, make the time pass more quickly until May 9th and hopefully help us get started in this marriage as well-prepared as possible.

And I'm sure that this summer I'll be writing about our 3 month anniversary, wondering where the time has gone.