My older sister Julie commented on my Bunkered Down post that I should explain why she does for a living and why she says she's done with my father. I agree, in fairness to her, that it warrants an explanation.
Julie's a nurse, and has worked in a hospital in critical care for a long time. She has seen many many alcoholic and drug addicted patients essentially commit a slow, painful, and ugly suicide because of their addictions. She knows exactly what late stage liver disease, brain damage, and heart damage looks like in an alcoholic. She has said she's done because she will not watch my father go through that.
When I said I didn't want to be like her, I hadn't thought about how it could sound like I was judging her and saying she was making the wrong decision. I don't want to be like her because I still want to believe that my father will stop drinking. I want to believe that every single day he will stop drinking and continue to stop drinking, even when things are difficult. I need to hang on to the hope that he will be healed by God. If I were to say that I'm done, for me it would mean that I no longer believe that God will heal my father.
Julie is being far more realistic, I know. It's a discouragingly small percentage of alcoholics who get sober and remain sober. And maybe the fact that I don't want to think about that is my own form of denial. But hopefully that explains what meant a little better.
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